The Funniest Names in the NFL
A rose by any other name might smell as sweet; call it a "fartblossom," though, and you'll have a hard time getting somebody to sniff it.
With that in mind -- here's our list of the NFL's greatest monikers. Some are funny. Some are fitting. Some are scary. Here goes:
Best Name That Rhymes: Aqib Talib, CB, Tampa Bay
Best Name That Sounds Like Something Else: Ashton Youboty, CB, Buffalo
Least Manly NFL Name: Guy Whimper, T, Giants. Runner-up: Demarcus Faggins, CB, Detroit
Best First Name: Atari, as in Green Bay safety Atari Bigby. Runners-up: Ronde Barber (pictured), CB, Tampa Bay, and Frostee Rucker, DE, Cincinnati, whose mom coincidentally has been banned from ever again watching holiday cartoons.
Player Most Likely to Be Mistaken for a Chili's Menu Item: Scott Fujita, LB, New Orleans
Keep reading for best porn name, best sci-fi name and more.
Most Delicious: Jamaal Fudge, CB, Atlanta
Best NFL Porn Name: Lance Long, WR, Kansas City
Guy to Avoid Looking at in the Shower: Rudy Niswanger, C, Kansas City Best Name That Sounds Dirty but Isn't: Jerricho Cotchery, WR, Jets. Runners-up: Billy Cundiff (K, Baltimore), Hank Poteat (CB, Cleveland) and Sione Pouha (DT, Jets)
Best Girl's Name on an NFL Player: Melila Purcell, DE, Cleveland
Thurston Howell III Award for Snottiest Name: Kyle Vanden Bosch, DE, Tennessee
Nicest Name: Lousaka Polite, FB, Miami Most Sanctimonious: Maurice Purify, WR, Cincinnati. (He was a criminal justice major at Nebraska. Ironically, he was arrested twice while in college and in 2007 spent a week under house arrest for probation violations.) Best Player to Have a Drink With: Nick Hennessey, T, Buffalo. Lightweights should hang with Cincinnati TE Matt Sherry.
Best Name For NFL Success: Williams -- 50 players share that last name. There are 47 Johnsons, 37 Browns and 28 Smiths.
Guy Most Likely to Get Searched at the Airport: Husain Abdullah, S, Minnesota
Player Most Likely to Star in a "Sopranos" Spin-Off: Sabby Piscitelli, S, Tampa Bay
Our Favorite Player: Marlon Favorite, DT, New Orleans
Best Sci-Fi Name: DeJuan Tribble, CB, San Diego
Most Fun Name To Say: Olaniyi Sobomehin, RB New Orleans. Runner-up: Cory Lekkerkerker, T, Tennessee
Most Insignificant: Fred Smoot, CB, Washington. Runner-up: Keith Null, QB, St. Louis
Least Recognizable: Richie Incognito, G, Buffalo The "Who Would Name Their Kid That?" Award: Phillip Morris, WR, Tennessee
Most Unfortunate Pairing of NFL Teammates: Baltimore Ravens Suggs (Terrell, LB) and Koch (Sam, P) are the obvious choices here.
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